So here I am in the guest room / office, getting ready to host our lovely Didi and Papa. Their poor room serves their purpose but once a year and gets the full cleaning / filing mountains of paperwork treatment about the same. The good thing is that I took a lovely nap this afternoon, so should be good to go for energy. But for some reason my heart is not in it. My heart is in hosting them, just not cleaning this room. It's an "I wish I could just twitch my nose and it's done" kind of thing. Which is not real for anyone other than Samantha. Or Tabitha. Or Endora. You get the gist.
Went shopping this afternoon and found two super cute dresses for about $32 total. Yup. And one will go with me when PJ and I escape our lives for two days and remember what it's like to be young and carefree and drive to OH (stay with me here) and celebrate the ten years of married bliss we've given each other. The trip to OH is actually great. We will stay in Columbus and see all the cute shops and eat sushi and drink saki then go to Hocking Hills State Park and see waterfalls and caves and scout out next year's Big Camping Expedition. Really I just want to be with him where it's quiet and I can be still and there's nothing that needs laundered and no one is hitting / screaming at / telling on anyone else. Just be. He and me.
So now I must go back to the filing the mountain of paperwork and see where we are on the laundry aspect of things. And stop blogging. And stop thinking about all the giant flour sack dish towels I have in the basement waiting to be embroidered. And wait patiently for the Nook to charge. And and and and and. Here's to all of you and your ands. Happy fourth friends.
ps does anyone speak cat? Lionel is very chatty tonight and seems unhappy that I am not responsive.
03 July, 2011
26 April, 2011
Sometimes I'm Old but I'm Not Really But Even When I Am I Don't Need To Be
It has recently been brought to my attention that I am old. Not that I am actually OLD, but that I am behaving as one would expect someone 15-20 years my senior might act. Certain sleep patterns. Dietary restrictions. Wardrobe choices. And the person who has brought this to my attention is actually kind of correct. While I have been a sixty five year old woman most of my actual life, I don't need to ease into my sunset years quite yet. I spoke with someone not long ago who was completely upset at turning 42. I can kind of relate as 41 is around the corner from me. But I decided that I'd try to bring something positive to her equation. She said, "Are you going to tell me you're only as old as you feel?" I said no, as if someone said that to me I might consider that so trite I might try to punch them in the head. I did point out a short list of really fabulous and successful women who were our age and older. If they can be fabulous, why aren't we?
Well, probably one of their secrets isn't that they consider themselves a sixty five year old woman on the inside. I've been planning for my blue hair and canary yellow Cadillac that beeps in reverse for decades. Do I feel ready for this? Absolutely not. So maybe it's not so trite. Maybe I am only as old as I feel. Or as young. And while most days I do feel sixty five, it's not inconceivable that there's a thirty year old in there trying to get out. I need to listen for her more often.
14 April, 2011
The Working Mothers Conundrum
When I had Ava oh so many years ago, I was employed full time. It was necessary for me to return to work very shortly after her arrival. This was heartbreaking, but it was the only choice available at the time. In time, it became second nature. Habit. Just what it was. It was when we picked up and moved to Indiana that not working became a possibility. The cost of living was such that although it would not be easy, at least it would be feasible to not work out of the home.
The jump from the 40+ hour work week to the ohmygoshwhatamigoingtodowithmydaygototargetagain?!?!? days were insane. It took me a while to transition into stay at home mode. Looking for and moving into our house definitely helped. By the time James came to be I was in my bliss. I could not imagine going back to work. At. All. Grateful every day for the ability to live that way and praying it would not end. We would talk that when the kids were in school all day maybe I would get a part time job. But that seemed so very far away. Still does at times, even though kindergarten looms in the fall.
A few months ago, employment found me. It was kismet. The right people at the right place at the right time for the right thing. (Yes I am completely aware and grateful of this blessing.) And we went around and around with the full time / part time thing. Could we do it? Yes. What would it mean? How would it affect our quality of life? In not too much time it became clear that it would be detrimental to all of us to have me out again for 40+ hours a week. So part time it was. With the full time in the future. When the kids are in school all day perhaps.
But here we are looking at this question again. And still I am at the same answer. Today I worked only three extra hours. By the time I got off work, stopped and got dog food, and drove down to get the kids from school (J was home with his Auntie) it was after four. Then dinner has to be made, homework needs to be helped with and / or checked. Kids need to be bathed and put to bed. Then the list of the day still looms. The dog hair still coats the floor and the laundry is still mocking me from the corner. (After the three loads I did after work Monday!) So as much as I enjoy the work, and the people especially, I am resolved to be part time. My hope is that we can make it work, and I can fill a need at the office that allows everyone to be happy. If not, then here we are at my at home bliss again. Which would be okay. We miss the park sometimes.
The jump from the 40+ hour work week to the ohmygoshwhatamigoingtodowithmydaygototargetagain?!?!? days were insane. It took me a while to transition into stay at home mode. Looking for and moving into our house definitely helped. By the time James came to be I was in my bliss. I could not imagine going back to work. At. All. Grateful every day for the ability to live that way and praying it would not end. We would talk that when the kids were in school all day maybe I would get a part time job. But that seemed so very far away. Still does at times, even though kindergarten looms in the fall.
A few months ago, employment found me. It was kismet. The right people at the right place at the right time for the right thing. (Yes I am completely aware and grateful of this blessing.) And we went around and around with the full time / part time thing. Could we do it? Yes. What would it mean? How would it affect our quality of life? In not too much time it became clear that it would be detrimental to all of us to have me out again for 40+ hours a week. So part time it was. With the full time in the future. When the kids are in school all day perhaps.
But here we are looking at this question again. And still I am at the same answer. Today I worked only three extra hours. By the time I got off work, stopped and got dog food, and drove down to get the kids from school (J was home with his Auntie) it was after four. Then dinner has to be made, homework needs to be helped with and / or checked. Kids need to be bathed and put to bed. Then the list of the day still looms. The dog hair still coats the floor and the laundry is still mocking me from the corner. (After the three loads I did after work Monday!) So as much as I enjoy the work, and the people especially, I am resolved to be part time. My hope is that we can make it work, and I can fill a need at the office that allows everyone to be happy. If not, then here we are at my at home bliss again. Which would be okay. We miss the park sometimes.
04 April, 2011
Day Two
So the inspiration's not so prevalent but the allergies sure are! JW up at 3 am because his ear hurt. He finally came to get us just before 5 (seriously, I was sad yet so grateful that he waited!) and after some discussion and negotiation it was decided that PJ would stay home and take him to the Doctor. Chalk up yet one more reason that I love our pediatrician so much; James was in the office an hour after the call was made. The results? Ear infection! Both ears! Due to seasonal allergies! So there are meds and drops, but the call was made that the trip could still occur as it's not that crazy. The drops worked right away and the kid took a 5 hour nap. WOWZERS! He'll only have the drops and antibiotics for the 10 days. The allergy meds for EVAH, or until mid May if memory serves. I hope his work better for him than mine have been working for me. I am Claritin-ing my heart out and there is some relief. I should be grateful. While I am stuffy and going through box upon box of Kleenex, I spy the buds on the lilac bush and watch for new growth on the hydrangea and know that for me, this temporary condition will be long forgotten when all is lush and green and blooming. The boy, well, he may not appreciate all that so much. Yet. There's still hope. And he's pretty excited to get into the garden. If we have one.
Yep, that's right. There's a mystery puddle in the side yard, formerly known as "The Waste Land" that I've determined is a PERFECT place to add to the garden. So that will need to be investigated, and as you all know, April showers bring those May flowers, so our digging opportunities may not be abundant before planting season. As for the current garden arrangement, well, the fence needs to be replaced along that side of the yard. Has been for about 4 years or so. Every windy day we watch out the kitchen window to see if the rest will fall down. So before putting in a garden, we'll need to get that taken care of. And calling for quotes has not somehow been on the forefront of my mind, with work, my sister, all the house stuff, the kids' birthdays and party etc etc etc. If I want some peppers in my freezer and some tomatoes to can, I'd better get on the stick.
In the meantime, here's hoping that there's limited sneezing and Kleenex in your world, friends.
I am feeling an abundant amount of gratitude for friends near and far, new and old, and hope you know I hold you all in my heart.
xoxo,
me
Yep, that's right. There's a mystery puddle in the side yard, formerly known as "The Waste Land" that I've determined is a PERFECT place to add to the garden. So that will need to be investigated, and as you all know, April showers bring those May flowers, so our digging opportunities may not be abundant before planting season. As for the current garden arrangement, well, the fence needs to be replaced along that side of the yard. Has been for about 4 years or so. Every windy day we watch out the kitchen window to see if the rest will fall down. So before putting in a garden, we'll need to get that taken care of. And calling for quotes has not somehow been on the forefront of my mind, with work, my sister, all the house stuff, the kids' birthdays and party etc etc etc. If I want some peppers in my freezer and some tomatoes to can, I'd better get on the stick.
In the meantime, here's hoping that there's limited sneezing and Kleenex in your world, friends.
I am feeling an abundant amount of gratitude for friends near and far, new and old, and hope you know I hold you all in my heart.
xoxo,
me
02 April, 2011
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...
1) I'm back. For how long, well, that depends on Miss Inspiration. Should she hang around, I will too.
2) Enjoyed an amazing date with Ava last night. Out for dinner (she wanted to go to the Acme!) and to Arts United to see the performance of Hubbard Street 2, part of the Indiana Dance Festival in conjunction with the Fort Wayne Dance Collective. She was so tired she almost fell asleep toward the end of the performance. However, she told me later that she persevered because I had told her she could have the lollipop the waitress brought for her if she sat still during the performance.
3) We talked during intermission of making a birthday date a tradition, and maybe choosing 5 things we wanted to work on in the coming year, then on the next birthday date go over what those 5 things were; did we improve? Do we need to carry it over? Then choose 5 things for the next year. She was ready with hers. Tattling, handwriting, soccer, not rushing on tests, and I don't remember the last one. Really, she's shown a bunch of improvement on the handwriting and rushing on tests. I can see the handwriting when she does homework. The rushing on tests was a specific improvement mentioned during parent teacher conferences. The only one I came up with on the spot was to pay attention to what I'm doing when I'm doing it, and try to focus on that one thing. Be present. I don't know if she understood.
4) I think if I can figure out how to blog from my phone, you'll see more posts.
5) I just spent over an hour with the template designer and I cannot see the background I want. Blerg!!!
6) I don't really miss tv except Thursday nights.
I'm off to build a fire. I hope you find me here. I will add "do more blogging" to my list of 5 for the coming year.
Peace.
2) Enjoyed an amazing date with Ava last night. Out for dinner (she wanted to go to the Acme!) and to Arts United to see the performance of Hubbard Street 2, part of the Indiana Dance Festival in conjunction with the Fort Wayne Dance Collective. She was so tired she almost fell asleep toward the end of the performance. However, she told me later that she persevered because I had told her she could have the lollipop the waitress brought for her if she sat still during the performance.
3) We talked during intermission of making a birthday date a tradition, and maybe choosing 5 things we wanted to work on in the coming year, then on the next birthday date go over what those 5 things were; did we improve? Do we need to carry it over? Then choose 5 things for the next year. She was ready with hers. Tattling, handwriting, soccer, not rushing on tests, and I don't remember the last one. Really, she's shown a bunch of improvement on the handwriting and rushing on tests. I can see the handwriting when she does homework. The rushing on tests was a specific improvement mentioned during parent teacher conferences. The only one I came up with on the spot was to pay attention to what I'm doing when I'm doing it, and try to focus on that one thing. Be present. I don't know if she understood.
4) I think if I can figure out how to blog from my phone, you'll see more posts.
5) I just spent over an hour with the template designer and I cannot see the background I want. Blerg!!!
6) I don't really miss tv except Thursday nights.
I'm off to build a fire. I hope you find me here. I will add "do more blogging" to my list of 5 for the coming year.
Peace.
25 December, 2010
08 November, 2010
This One's for You, J
Sunday we got leaves out of the back yard. Seeing as it will be 67 degrees today, James and I decided to tackle some of the yard work. I don't have any lawn bags so we just worked leaves today. And by worked leaves, I mean go outside and randomly point my blower toward the street. I bragged about the size of my leaf pile on the Facebook, but really, to be fair, I am also doing the front yard of the empty house next to us. The folks across the street mow in the summer, so in the fall I figure it's the least I can do. Winter will depend on if I get the hang of the snow thrower, and how cold it is. That is a corner lot, after all.
When I left for Tucson I was a bit bummed as fall colors hadn't really reached a good photo point. It was pretty, but not unbelievably pretty. As I suspected, that occurred shortly after my return. It was nice to come back to. I have so many photos from last year, I didn't really take too much. I missed Homers transformation-he lost his leaves pretty quickly this year. But a request from a dear friend, a desert dweller, came across the lines, and really, how could I say no? I stepped out into the mid 60 degree weather and took a few shots. A day like today is really special. I may let Ava postpone her piano work and get those kids out on their bikes. After Friday's snow, who knows how much longer we'll have to bask in this autumn glory?
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