26 April, 2011

Sometimes I'm Old but I'm Not Really But Even When I Am I Don't Need To Be


It has recently been brought to my attention that I am old. Not that I am actually OLD, but that I am behaving as one would expect someone 15-20 years my senior might act. Certain sleep patterns. Dietary restrictions. Wardrobe choices. And the person who has brought this to my attention is actually kind of correct. While I have been a sixty five year old woman most of my actual life, I don't need to ease into my sunset years quite yet. I spoke with someone not long ago who was completely upset at turning 42. I can kind of relate as 41 is around the corner from me. But I decided that I'd try to bring something positive to her equation. She said, "Are you going to tell me you're only as old as you feel?" I said no, as if someone said that to me I might consider that so trite I might try to punch them in the head. I did point out a short list of really fabulous and successful women who were our age and older. If they can be fabulous, why aren't we?
Well, probably one of their secrets isn't that they consider themselves a sixty five year old woman on the inside. I've been planning for my blue hair and canary yellow Cadillac that beeps in reverse for decades. Do I feel ready for this? Absolutely not. So maybe it's not so trite. Maybe I am only as old as I feel. Or as young. And while most days I do feel sixty five, it's not inconceivable that there's a thirty year old in there trying to get out. I need to listen for her more often.

1 comment:

just jen said...

from my distant perspective, you are a wise and comfortable soul with a hip sort of flare that makes you classic, timeless. effortless. the 30 year old can't hold a match to you. so own your inner Stella. she's awesome.