29 October, 2010

Cloudy Skies


I am sorry for the complete and total abandonment of late of this blog. For quite some time, it's felt like a blahg. I've had some stuff on simmer going on over here, and the heat has gradually increased. My mother, who had been sick for quite some time with lung cancer, passed away a week ago. It was expected, yet a bit unexpected as the doctors had given her a couple of months, and she went in a few weeks. She knew when she was ready. Sadly there's more on that burner with some other stuff. That knob gets turned up every so often. Today it felt like it was on high. I am searching for an answer I am afraid isn't there for me to find. I looked today to someone I was certain would know but he seemed as lost as I am to complete the puzzle and put everything back together as it should be. So I pray (oh yes we pray just to make it today-great, now Hammer's in my head...) every day to find comfort for those close to me that really truly need it. Healing and comfort and grace. And although I feel my light is diminished, I hope it shines just a smidge on those who are looking for help. And I'll keep praying for my light to grow, so if the answer doesn't come from me maybe those who need it can use the light to find it for themselves.